Why?

The question, the most profound one, always starts with a WHY.



"Why?"



SEE?



I guess that will always be a question unanswered.

So why am I spitting out bullshit stuff all over the beginning?



I dunno.



I mean, I guess I'm just pretty bored over the holidays, although I'm so NOT complaining about holidays, Lord oh God,I was just stating the boredness as just me being oh-so-boring and NOT because holidays are too long. In fact, make it all year! I-or I'm sure-we, will be all fine and lovely.ha ha.ha hah.



Not.



I mean the sadistic "ha ha" part.



I feel bored, empty, and I dun wanna go back to sch. *"Back To School" campaign, freak off!



I dun feel like going back to school.Even If its just one more year of high school.



GOSH, ONE MORE YEAR.



17.



which means SPM

which means SPM

whish means SPM



I don't think I wanna repeat it again the fourth time.



I don't know what has gotten into me. I'm constantly depressed, easily saddened, agitated always by the smallest things, whats wrong?



Whats the matter with me?

Well
Here's the confession:

I feel, I'm always going to be on my own.



Which is, phhffff, stupid, cause Helllooo..? You've got family darhhling.You've got a bunch of friends. You've got SOME opportunity. You're not hated...too much and you're not infamous...too much. Which is a GOOD thing considering how small and discreet this town is and could be respectively. So, whats wrong, whats up, Wazzup yo mama kiddo yo SUCK-KA?



Nothing.



Nothing?



Nothing.



And why is that...?



Thats just it. Nothing.

Nothing is coming to me. Nothing interestingly good is happening to me. The nothingness is eating me away.



Darling,It's a good thing that nothing came. I mean, It could be a BAD thing, which is not a good thing, which is worse than nothing.



I guess you're kinda right.



Of course I'm right, Crystal. I'm ALWAYS right. I'm like, your Law and Order.



Except, of course, you're not the only one who's my Law and Order.



Now what do you mean by that now, huh?



Nothing.



Oh-h nothing.



*sigh



I guess I should quit complaining about the fact that I'll always be easily forgotten and taped as "Miss Nicey-Pancey-didshejustsaidfuckquestionmarkexclamationmarkkk" all the way. Which is good. I meant the latter part.



To not be remembered for the better things you did, well, thats just sad. Its like making a nice apple crumble pie with cinnamon sprinkles and fluffy cream on top, only to be ferociously eaten in one huge gulp. *gone like the wind



Its just as sad as THAT.



I don't have the looks, the figure, the right attitude. I'm just plain-ol Crystal, with the drama flair and oh-so blah clothes, the chinese-y hair , the ability to make people not understand my language and the low-so-low-wait-isthereeverevenone self esteem.



I feel terrible.



Oh you're too modest darhhling.



Oh shut up will ya, Law and Order?



*silence



I guess, I guess I do have some nice things about my life.



Like, erm...hmm...



Oh yea, the two pairs of earrings that Id just bought: A pizza-shaped one and a choc. cake-shaped one.

Aint that just cu-ute?



And the existences of eggs,lovely, brilliant eggs. Boiled, scrambled, fried, Japanese-styled, sunny-side up...Oh, the possibilities are ENDLESS.



And the production of Phineas and Ferb? I heart you guys<3



And Chocolate? Chocolates! CHOCOLATES!!!!!!!!



And Golf? oh wait, my love aint that consistent.



And my drama-ness? Oh wait, not cool.



How bout almond tea? Cinnamon tea? Green tea? ahh, now thats blissful.



And BOOKS!All the nice reading and sitting and breathing at intervals. Its brilliant.



And now I'm sad.



I know all the nice people in my life. Some included Renee, my long-distant relationship girlfriend(haha), Hilary, my dear sister slash friend slash golfing buddy, Mrs Teo, Add Maths teacher slash friend slash mentor, Mrs Hong, Piano teacher slash mentor slash friend ,Jon, friend slash friend slash friend.Yee, my friend slash Brain twin slash twin and Limin, my friend slash classmate slash Miss Nicey, even *gulps, Paul, friend slash noob slash Wheenoob. I guess, when it broiled down to this, only a few person registered in your mind, your heart, your soul. I can only thought of these people. And frankly, I confess with a pang of guilt, I can only think of these people. Why?

and now we're back to the question, arent we?

*sigh

Its the most-talked topic when it comes to diets and fitness. How to establish a diet plan,10 days diet for the ultimate weight loss, Healthy low-carb diets,or better yet,Start losing weight with NO requirement of exercise or diet in just 45 minutes a week! Oh blah, Bleh, Blih,PHHHFFF.
Seriously, we-and when I mean we as in me and those who's like me- don't establish diet plans, celebrities do. Why? Because we don't have those oh-so-annoying paparazzi tailing us all the way to Mars, trying to capture some less-perfect-more-flabby bod due to Christmas Dinner( The turkey stuffed with potatoes and carrots and bread crumbs! ).And becoming anorexic-thin in just 10 days?! What a model's dream that is. Healthy and LOW ON CARBS? What, NO CHEESE(fook), NO PASTA(fooker), and-sweats-NO CHOCOLATES??!!!(fookest)Buum-mer.
There's never been a diet plan that had worked out for me. I'd just gone on putting those nuisance pounds(and even more!)back before you can say jimminycrackers.I guess Crystal and Weight-loss Diets never should come together. They can't stand each other and even tho there's chemistry the relationship was destined to deteriorate and fade away like when rat meets cat.And as the holiday season come and go, dress sizes doubled up and self-esteem dropped down, I felt the NEED to just bad-mouth sucky diet plans for a while before crawling back into their merciless realm of too-much sweating and lack-of-munching. So here's some loopholes that I'd found on MSN's 50 ways to Cut 500 Calories a day. (insert*evil laugh)


50 Ways to Cut 500 Calories a Day
Here's the simplest (no-diet!) way to slim down. ( It's called diet at the beginning ard,babe)
By Shaun Chavis, Health

If you ate too many chocolate-covered cherries,(TOO MANY??!!NEVER!) or indulged in more eggnog that you shoud've(I haven't had eggnog), you're not alone(Duh?). If you fell off your diet wagon over the holidays(And over the years, mind you), don't panic.(Panic!At the Disco) Jump back on and get rolling again with these great ideas to recover from your indulgences. (I happen to LIKE my indulgences)

The most basic way to lose weight is to slash calories.( with a spork?) That’s Diet 101. But how many do you really have to cut or burn to see results?(A lot) It’s simple: You can drop a pound a week by trimming 500 calories each day.(really?) (Calories burned are based on a 150-pound woman.)(I'm NOT 150-pound!)
In fact, do a couple of swaps a day and you can drop 10 pounds in five weeks!(What a fine dream) So try these 50 easy tweaks—and get the slim body you want in no time.(Oh it involves time alright, a lotsa time)

1. Shake your groove thing. Dance for just two hours and torch 500 calories. (A little air guitar will burn a few extra calories, too.)( I agree on this one =] )

2. Get enough sleep. A lack of shut-eye can make you snack, new research from the University of Chicago shows. People who got only 5 1/2 hours of sleep noshed more during the day. Snooze more and save about 1,087 calories.( I sleep when people wake up )

3. Don’t eat in front of the TV. You’ll eat up to 288 calories more, according to research from the University of Massachusetts. Instead, eat at the table, and trade one hour of TV for a casual walk. Together, that’s 527 calories burned.(We have a TV installed in the dining room!)

4. Get in tune with your tummy. Pay attention to how full you feel, and put down your fork when you’re satisfied. Listen to your body’s cues—instead of looking at whether the plate is clean—and save up to 500 calories a day.( And my tummy says: "Go for it!" all the time)

5. Limit dinner guests. Eating with seven or more other guests can make you eat 96 percent more food, says Brian Wansink, Ph.D., author of Mindless Eating. That’s like doubling your dinner! Dine with fewer guests to save 500 or more calories.( No wonder Kate Moss is so thin, she being a sulkpuss and all)

6. Simple tricks to fill up (with less!). For breakfast, eat two boiled or poached eggs. (You’ll feel fuller and eat about 416 fewer calories the rest of the day.) Before lunch and dinner, enjoy 1 cup low-cal soup. (You’ll eat about 134 calories less at each meal.) And save a total of 684 calories for the day.( I like eggs )

7. Limit salad toppings. A big salad might seem healthy, but all those goodies on top can make it more calorie-laden than lasagna or fettuccine Alfredo. Cheese crumbles, caramelized nuts, bacon, avocado, dried fruit, croutons and vinaigrettes can add lots of calories. Save 500 or more calories by having just one topping, adding flavorful but lower-cal veggies (roasted bell peppers, grilled onions, or mushrooms) and using half the dressing.( Ahhh, salad )

8. Don’t clean your plate. Leave 25 percent of your food on the plate at every meal, says weight-loss expert James O. Hill, Ph.D., author of The Step Diet. If you normally eat 2,000 calories or more each day, you’ll cut 500 calories.( And Elle will say I'm wasting food when African children are going hungry)

9. Use smaller plates. Swap your 12-inch plate for a 10-inch one. You’ll eat 20 to 25 percent less—and save up to 500 calories. You won’t feel any less full, either, researchers say.( I use smaller bowls)

10. Make mine a mini. Check out menus for small versions of great desserts, so you can dodge calo­ries and end your meal on a sweet note. P.F. Chang’s Great Wall of Chocolate (designed for one diner!) is 1,440 calories. The Mini Great Wall? A chocolatey yet svelte 150 calories. You’ll save 1,290-calories.( What?!! A mini Chang's Great Wall of Chocolate??!!-whatever that is-absolute to-be-unheard of)

11. Ditch that buttered movie popcorn. Yes, the large popcorn at the concession stand weighs in at a whopping 1,005 calories. Smuggle in your own (microwave-popped, 94 percent fat-free, of course) and save more than 700 calories.( Ditch??!!BUTTERD POPCORN?!Whats wrong with you people?!)

12. Count your chips (and crackers). No, you can’t eat your snacks from a large bag or box because it’s waaaay too tempting to eat until the bag is empty. (Remember Oprah’s blue corn–tortilla chip confession?) A chip-bender to the bottom of a 9-ounce bag is 1,260 calories sans the dip. So stick to one serving, about 15 chips—that’s 140 calories—or pick up some 100-calorie snack packs and save 1,120 calories.(How can you count chips?!they should be endless !)

13. Step away from the nuts, especially if they’re in a big bowl. The bigger the serving bowl, the more you’ll eat, Cornell University researchers say. Nuts have heart-healthy fats, but they’re also high in calories: One handful (about 1 ounce) of oil-roasted mixed nuts has 175 calories; three handfuls have 525. Cut out nuts altogether and save more than 500 calories. Can’t resist ’em? Eat pistachios: Two handfuls are just 159 calories, and the shelling will slow down your munching.(step away slowly from the nuts, people, they're not called Nuts for nothing)

14. Kick the soda habit. A 12-ounce soft drink has about 150 to 180 calories. If you down two or three a day, you’re getting lots of extra calories. Quench your thirst with water and save as many as 540 calories.( this is one sacred rule, My respect to you oh-Mighty one, *bows)

15. Eat less pasta.( NEVER!!!!!) One cup of pasta is just 220 calories. But typical dinner portions at restaurants can be as much as 480 percent larger than that 1 cup, according to New York University research. That’s 1,056 calories. Even if you eat 2 whole cups of noodles, you’ll still save 616 calories.

16. Clean house. Tidy up for 2 1/2 hours and burn 510 calories.( haha, for a second there I thought you're serious. No wait, you're serious??!!)

17. Check the number of servings in a dish. The calorie count on the menu for shrimp fried rice may say 350 calories per serving, but what’s set in front of you may actually contain four servings. Split it with three friends, and save 1,050 calories.( IF there's plenty of time)

18. Beware the healthy-food trap. People let their guard down when the menu is full of healthy fare, underestimating calories by as much as 35 perecnt, research by the Cornell University Food and Brand Lab shows. You’re also more likely to order drinks, sides and desserts with up to 131 percent more calories when you have a healthy entrée. Skip caloric sides—a cookie, chips—to save 500-plus calories.( Been there, done that)

19. Build a lean burrito—and you’ll save 630 calories. Here's how:
Instead of a flour tortilla, order lettuce.
Instead of cheese, order guacamole.
Instead of ground beef, shredded pork.
Instead of black beans, order pinto beans.
Instead of rice, order corn salsa
Instead of salsa, order pico de gallo
The reduced calorie options add up to 490 calories—down from 1,120.
(Then it aint a burito anymore, aint it?)

20. Think small at the ice cream shop. Even if you indulge in your favorite full-fat flavor, you’ll save as many as 550 calories with a 5-ounce size instead of a 12-ounce.(small?! Thats diabolical!)

21. Think thin when it comes to pizza. Eat two slices of a medium thin-crust veggie pizza (360 calories) instead of two slices of a large, meaty deep-dish pizza (940 calories) and save 580 calories.( Ahh, if all of us can do that)

22. Beware hidden oils. Ask to have your food cooked with a little stock instead of oil, or order steamed or poached entrées: you’ll save 124 calories per tablespoon of oil. Also, have the kitchen skip oils added at the last minute like basil oil or chive oil, and save another 40 calories per teaspoon.( IF we're more observant)

23. Order spaghetti with meat sauce instead of spaghetti with Italian sausage and save 560 calories. Even better: Order mushroom ravioli (670 calories) or pasta marinara (430 calories).( What?! The sausage is what makes spaghetti worth the wait!)

24. Help a friend move. You’ll burn more than 600 calories in one hour of carrying boxes and furniture up and down the stairs.( Yeah right, you had me going on for a minute now.*laughs)

25. Shovel snow. Clearing the driveway and sidewalks for one hour and 15 minutes will torch 510 calories.( Malaysia is not blessed with tiny,white sprinkles)

26. Tap your foot. Your skinnier friends are probably fidgeters, who burn up to 350 calories a day just by tapping their feet or being restless. Try it for a few days. Walk around while you’re on the phone, or tap out a tune with your hands or feet (in the privacy of your own office, of course).( Fidgeters are prone to nervous breakdown symptoms, don't you know?)

so that concludes it all! Remember all these tips, and remember me. For crystal and diets will never work out. *sigh

Thought I'm gonna have a tons of stuffs to do after that gruelling and horrifying final exam.


Turns out I was wrong. Again.



I mean, seriously. There is nothing, I repeat, NOTHING to do. Well, nothing I WANT to do. All you have is yo mama there naggin' yo with the cleaning and the tidying up cause guess what, yo house is under renovation and yo movin'!!!! to some place down the street next to Sanjev's, which by the way, is a laterally inverted copy of your own house. Period. The rented house, that is, not Sanjev.



Anyhoo, Its not like I DON'T wanna help- Oh wait, I seriously don't!!??- but I just felt after such a grande exam, naturally I feel the need to do something I WANT to do, and that, does not include moving the furniture to the rented place and listening to my maid, Lastri flirting outrageously with the renovation workers. Okay, I don't mind the first, but I seriously, SERIOUSLY am freakin' out about the latter. UHMIGO-OH, I can't stand her flirtatious attitude with them male workers. Okay, I understand how oestrogen can work a female up but, uh-mi-go-oh, she sings she laughs freakishly weird and her voice gets all pitchy and ANNOYING. Yes, that's THE word. ANNOYING. And such annoyance, is not, I so am repeating, NOT to be tolerated. But, of course, lovely moi never begrudged her. Never, actually I kinda like her cause she talked about cats and the kittens she raised with her beloved sister. She loves her sister and her mom, which, I guess for this world nowadays is as rare as a blue moon. But uhmigood when she purchased that handphone of hers, its was-and still is- such a nightmare. Talk, yap, talk. Chatterty-chat-chat. Its so annoYING! And all the boys she have in her contacts( I did not pry, she showed them photos to me, from her phone). It's really awkward. I dunno what to say, except to gush really fake-like.
Mum wasn't too happy when she went to our old house JUST to chat with them workers. I guess she was afraid that our maid will run off with one of them, like what happened to my dad's friend's friend who had a maid who ran off with another worker who dated her who she dated, PHEW!
But, I kinda felt bad when my mum kinda nagged her. And I know her nag. When she's nagging, it's scolding. When she's scolding, it's hell.
That's mum, she's charming as ever, however.

hmmmm...I think I'm starting to be a complain queen.

Shattering and on the brink of breaking into a KA-ZILLION pieces,



Crink-cronk-clank.



Yep, I guess that's what the glass doors of the pro shop were doing when I cleared ma throat, opened ma mouth and surrendered in ma pharynx. So awkward and embarrassed laa.

Met CanDz and Zub and Hang2 at the proshop.

Turns out they had a brief-not so brief tho- rehearsal.

Choosing the rights songs for the memorial.

Gave ma suggestions and stuff laa.

Suggested I'll be there 'cause it's ma fav pick from MJ*King Of POP

Then subconsciously ma mouth kept moving, ma voice box kept poofing-yess, poofing-

Ma diaphragm drummin'.

Yep, its crazy. I know I'm a teensy bit cuckoo-clock.

CanDz-another cuckoo-clock,hee- says she enjoyed my singing.

Omg, someone actually enjoyed. ma SINGING. ma VOICE.

CanDz I heart you laa. heehe.

Unc. Jack came and give us a few pointers.

Oldies and the arrangement laa.

Zub seems a lil...wandering?

I wanted to know what had happened, but, la, don't be so prying laa crystal.

CanDz was damn hilarious-as always- and hang2 was damn quiet-as always-

Sometimes I wonder what makes a person, you know?

CanDz is, well, so CanDz with her random antics and silly laughs.

Hang2 is, well, so musical and talented and stuff.

Zub is, well, I can't make of him-yet.

Its amazing how these three person can lift up my day.

'cause I'd not seen J for days. DAYS.

Gosh it felt like YEARS.

DECADES.

CENTURIES.

and he can't text me so often.

for some reasons.

similar to my reasons LAST TIME.

I'm not angry at all.

But he kept INSISTING that I AM.

at him.

How could I, laa.

I'm so happy, and all.

with him.

isssshhhhhhh.

Text Mish later on.

Told her there maybe a rehearsal tomorrow.In which, sadly, I'll not be able to attend thanks to my trip to Bukit Tinggi. Whee.

I love singing with them laa. I'm sure my voice suck like hell. Btw, zub and hang2 can play the guitar REALLY REALLY good. And hang2 is super omg talented. I still remember how he help me with the Interact Installation performance. LOL. He's really good, he just use one night and presto, accompaniment for moi violin solved! I still owe him a dinner. Or lunch. Whatever he choose.

Dah-laa.

Random. Ooh I love this word.I can said it over and over and it will not get boring, unlike Lenka's The Show, in which I'd heard a KA-ZILLION times.

Random
Randomness
Randomness-ss

I like to people who randomly do random stuff. It shows uniqueness, it shows love for the nothing-ness, it also shows that we, human, homo sapiens can randomly select any random words to speak aloud of.

Hell, I'm so boring I don't know what alien lango I'm blurging now.

Dah-la.
I'm going to the pee-place.
To pee.

I'm bored today.

Just came back from school.

Had said my selamat hari raya and mana duit raya aku to teachers and fellow classmates.

Made me thought of Najwa and her giving me a card in a pearl white envelope tied with a piece of gold ribbon. It was very sweet, and its IS still very thoughtful of her to consider my feelings, even if my feelings are not much to be sought after at that time of the year, last year Ramadan.



Oh hell, what the fuck am I writing? The 18th century lango?



Sheesh, I must had read too much of Jane Austen's to blurg properly.



I'm wearing pink singlets and long yellow pants. I find the assemble horrifying and will not, even under bribe, unless its A HUGE SUM of dosh or life supply of chocolates, wear the attire as to redden myself any further.
PK2 result susah nak tengok la. Berat juga pegangnya. Extremely BAD and not even up to my typical standards. La, I know, me acting a little of the STK prinsip-Kiasu, Kiasi, Kiamsiap. But u can't blame me, I'm A NERD. And nerds bound to act dramatically emotional over the littlest things, as such the semester exams.But the semester exams and NOT little, and I refuse! to be thought myself of the slacking and lacking in concentration to studay.

I hate pink, you get? But as you can see, my blurg is pinkesh. Way ta go Creestal. What you hate, you wear. What you like, you don't get. What you see, you don't care, What you don't see, you care. Bagus la awak ni Creestal.

Well, I think of this post as lame and uninviting.
Sorry blog, I apologize to have degraded you as so.

Blah, Blah, Blah.

Sunday 7.50am
Played golf with Mish, same score together as bestfriends should, with a 12 over. Hey, not bad right? Was estatic by the outcome of the game cause had not gone down to course for two whole weeks.Did not expected that. Cool, hope it will last but, I know, next I'l play a horrible 30,40 over and scare the daylight outta Coach. But still, this was quite an improvement.
Wheepie!

Crystal Lee ♥ Something,

♥ Nothing something everything. You know I'm afraid my teeth will fall out and yet I'l still be eating chocolates like there's no tomorrow.
You know when I'm reading i can forget your existance, period.

ma convoys:
JonT ELieELle Malikmon SamOoh CandiceChoAAah DaahGail-Shiying

Important:
Me.

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